Austria was beautiful. We really enjoying being together hiking, biking, seeing ruins, hearing Mozart, shopping on Graben Street, or boating down the Danube. Between Vienna and the Wachau Valley, we did everything that I could possibly want to do on vacation. But I missed my baby and part of me thought I’d feel Jordan in a more satisfying way when I got home. I missed his grave. I missed his room. I thought being home would bring some kind of comfort. But after we arrived, the house was so quiet. His room a vacuum, no sounds, no Jordan, no joy. I finally caught a cold starting the day after we got home. I’ve been trying to rest, but that means not being able to fill my time like I normally would. I’m not going to the gym. I’m not working in the yard, not hanging out with friends. So Netflix is my BFF this week. I know it annoys my husband when I watch endless TV (particularly since he went straight back to work). But the minute I sit quiet, I miss Jordan so much my chest hurts. So I keep watching episodes of Melissa & Joey, or Bollywood and French films (they have great romantic comedies) hoping that tomorrow I will feel better both in body and in spirit. It has yet to happen.
It is nice to be home for small reasons. I have all my creature comforts around, my own room and bathroom. Thank God I didn’t catch cold until I got home so I can make endless cups of hot tea and chicken soup. But I miss the little joys we found in the excitement of traveling. We found joy in the amazing hotel in Vienna that was across the square from St. Stephans Cathedral. We found joy when we rented a boat for an hour and a half, just the two of us with a captain who didn’t say much. We just took in glorious views of the Wachau with the sun shining down. We found joy figuring out which Wachau Heritage trails to hike and trekking to the top of ridges overlooking fields of wine grapes. We found joy in the legend of Richard the Lionheart’s captivity in the castle over Durnstein. None of his countrymen knew where he was located until the Blondel de Nesle (famous court musician) found him by going from castle to castle singing King Richard’s favorite song. He discovered Richard after he heard his familiar voice singing the next verse. All sweet moments of delight.
It’s always a little tough the week after coming back from vacation. It is just worse this time. Plus, now I have to figure out what to do with my life. I was waiting for the end of summer to think about it and the end is fast approaching. We’ll see how I feel tomorrow. Better I hope.